Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
