omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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