I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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