im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
