He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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