i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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