Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
