we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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