Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
