apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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