she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
