I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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