marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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