Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
