you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
