Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
