Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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