why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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