We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
