Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
