Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

(313): View more from Michigan

Honestly.

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't say a word.

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(313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7

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(905): View more from Toronto

Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat

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(905): Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat http://tfl.nu/wtwy

Replies (10) Good night (3261) Bad night (1342)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song... http://tfl.nu/qxfs

Replies (35) Good night (1170) Bad night (4577)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina

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(201): I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina http://tfl.nu/v35k

Replies (22) Good night (1451) Bad night (3946)
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(845): View more from New York

I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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(845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol

Replies (12) Good night (1181) Bad night (4000)
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(240): View more from Maryland

planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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(240): planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you? http://tfl.nu/bdmu

Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (685)
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(909): View more from California

I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.

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(909): I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic. http://tfl.nu/3gxu

Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (1249)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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(864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx

Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (1181)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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(570): We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves. http://tfl.nu/ccdq

Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (389)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

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(202): Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat. http://tfl.nu/b8sz

Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (1608)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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(520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22

Replies (11) Good night (493) Bad night (2388)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

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(+44): This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner. http://tfl.nu/2gdm

Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (836)
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(650): View more from California

Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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(650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s

Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (379)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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(613): Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them http://tfl.nu/25vp

Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (255)
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(816): View more from Missouri

The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?

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(816): The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/ds79

Replies (5) Good night (424) Bad night (308)

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