I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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