Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

(617): View more from Massachusetts

that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move (617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame http://tfl.nu/79g6

Replies (15) Good night (6589) Bad night (689)
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(323): View more from California

We should be called the Road Head Warriors

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(323): We should be called the Road Head Warriors http://tfl.nu/vuex

Replies (15) Good night (3292) Bad night (653)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My cat gives me a boner

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(610): My cat gives me a boner http://tfl.nu/df3i

Replies (29) Good night (764) Bad night (6942)
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(207): View more from Maine

there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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(207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se

Replies (23) Good night (1523) Bad night (8104)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

(406): View more from Montana

And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Amen.

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(701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i

Replies (14) Good night (6540) Bad night (705)
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(317): View more from Indiana

she was licking his armpits.

(317): View more from Indiana

asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.

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(317): she was licking his armpits. (317): asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story. http://tfl.nu/2ll0

Replies (24) Good night (1031) Bad night (4978)
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(425): View more from Washington

all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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(425): all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help. http://tfl.nu/bkkn

Replies (6) Good night (3535) Bad night (931)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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(814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11

Replies (16) Good night (6789) Bad night (2195)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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(781): You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/rd8s

Replies (4) Good night (2441) Bad night (1305)
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(440): View more from Ohio

He called his prostate his "boner button".

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(440): He called his prostate his "boner button". http://tfl.nu/n5dr

Replies (17) Good night (1574) Bad night (3282)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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(479): I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better http://tfl.nu/bldt

Replies (7) Good night (2442) Bad night (627)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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(913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l

Replies (24) Good night (7749) Bad night (1167)
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(707): View more from California

there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.

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(707): there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced. http://tfl.nu/voth

Replies (28) Good night (1196) Bad night (5186)
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(515): View more from Iowa

i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.

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(515): i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out. http://tfl.nu/7edz

Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (1077)
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(212): View more from New York

All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it

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(212): All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it http://tfl.nu/vzev

Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (1135)

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