Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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  (610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z
  Replies (15) Good night (4884) Bad night (1083)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?

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  (317): What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/ssbm
  Replies (15) Good night (1301) Bad night (4577)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

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  (718): I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary. http://tfl.nu/e3xl
  Replies (155) Good night (8333) Bad night (8679)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
  Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (1355)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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  (808): mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done. http://tfl.nu/ufw3
  Replies (7) Good night (2112) Bad night (1115)
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  (01): View more from

  He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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  (01): He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates. http://tfl.nu/mdzx
  Replies (6) Good night (2941) Bad night (966)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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  (309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk
  Replies (5) Good night (2132) Bad night (1276)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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  (253): drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA http://tfl.nu/xnrm
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (2184)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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  (910): So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up... http://tfl.nu/q907
  Replies (11) Good night (939) Bad night (2547)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.

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  (+44): the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner. http://tfl.nu/ddr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1855) Bad night (932)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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  (225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi
  Replies (9) Good night (1556) Bad night (541)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass

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  (519): woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass http://tfl.nu/kbek
  Replies (9) Good night (1180) Bad night (620)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

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  (780): I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/hrg7
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (428)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.

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  (513): Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/c992
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (450)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.

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  (903): Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head. http://tfl.nu/qt0n
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (384)

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