butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
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I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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