HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
