dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize