So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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