i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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