just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
