I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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