did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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