just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
