i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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