i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?