you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.