My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
