That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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