Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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