Dual....:-)
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
