I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
