On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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