Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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