I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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