so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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