How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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