Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Found the puke drawer
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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