So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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