Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
