New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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