I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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