Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
