Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
