Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
