We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
