You're so nebulous sometimes
Farmville is her only friend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
