I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
