Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
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complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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