haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
