i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize