I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I did not marry a roomba.
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