We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
