I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
