I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
